Realizations

So I am on the West Coast for the first time ever. I am staying on a Marine base so there are a lot of families here and men (I love men). Any way I love to talk to people and find out about them as individuals. I was talking to folks about their lives, travels, family and things that they hold dear to them. I have found that humans all have the nature to self protect or "make the best" out of whatever situation. Only a few couoples declared great love for one another... most spoke of the "best option" and things not being "that bad" or "could be worse". I began thinking... what is better? being single, a single parent or person or having someone to be better off financially and not to be lonely. I was talking to a woman and telling her that she was so blessed to have such a great husband, he helped with the kids, cooked, doted on her, didn't look at other women, very nice looking. She was not really happy with him, she complained about small things- the food was weird, the baby was screaming too much etc... she frowned a lot and made comments that cut him down. She is not happy but will not leave. While sitting on the beach I was thinking about my loneliness, I have male "prospects" but I can't allow them to get too close.. I have a lot to get together for myself before a committed relationship can be on the horizon. But I am lonely, I want a man to wake up to, to cook and clean for, to hold, rub, make love to, argue with, have make up sex with, to do things with my children, be there for when he is in need, to thank for taking out the trash, to struglle with, to scratch his head... and the list goes on. I feel better with one man (guess thats why I stay in relationships). But for the first time in my life I am working on my progression because I deserve to have a husband that loves me and he will deserve to have me love him. So I realized sitting there with tears running down my cheeks that it may be a while but I will have what I want and need. I will not settle. I do not feel that I am the nagging type and I honestly feel that men need to have their ego attended to and get upset when I see women take for granted what they have. So to never be that woman I must not take what is in front of me just because it is the one there the longest... not this time. And not even me being "in love with him" will cause me to deal with anything that is beneath me. I'll continue to solo trips, nights alone and distant dates where nothing will progress until I am ready because I know that I will get all that I deserve and want! Love all..........