Friday, June 18, 2010

Some Kind of Way

I am not usually a fan of the new sayings but I must throw this one out there.... I have certainly been feeling "some kind of way lately". Now I can't describe the way that I am feeling exactly which is what is killing me. The thing is I am not usually at a lose for words. I can almost always put a word to anything even if I choose not to share that word. So I guess I am looking at myself right now and not really feeling what is up. I've been going out a lot, traveling and getting to know a lot of different people and I am still feeling at a lose for something. but the other day I reading my bible and trying to reflect on some things and came to realize that there is a real plan set for us. And I know i never really knew the plan and when I learned about it certainly didn't want to follow it. But it is fairly obvious that there is a reason that things are designed the way they are. And I want to teach my children better. Show them that there are different options to going through crazy things and having to "learn from our mistakes". I really would like to lay a stronger foundation for my kids and I am trying to really focus on that right now. In the midst of this all I am trying to find myself some stability and enjoy dating, living and seeing different things. Being confined in a relationship in which I didn't feel appreciated or even really loved left me wanting for a lot of things. And now I am finding so many things that I want to do and it is great. But missing so much. I guess this rant is just about finding myself and my path within myself and my path. Trying to find my way back to knowing my way so that I can take the responsibility of these kids on my shoulders fully the way that I need to. Anyway I am sure I will add to this one too, just needed a therapy rant... Now on to something else...

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