TAKING TIME

Ok time for a rant real quick
Bare with me folks
So I am single now, only one year since I've been of age to date that Ive been single. So I have to be very cautious and really I want to be a bit selfish. I was with my last man for 11 years and gave him my all. I want to offer the next man Im with my all also so I need to take this time to heal and experience things. So when I get invovled with a man I wil let him know the things that I can offer and what Im not ready to offer. But it seems to fall on deaf ears sometimes or I am not communicating well enough or I show something different I do not know.
It seems that when I get close to someone enough to someone for me to start feeling them all of a sudden they seem to want way too much or do not want to pace with me. Or get scared or something. I want to take my time with my next relationship to get to know the person and not feel like Im jumping into something without taking time for me and how and what I need. Its like only a month or two and they want "more" and don't like the idea of me dating other men, talking to other men...etc. And NO its not he type of men I am dating because I do not have a "type" I just want a single man (no gf,baby mama they live with, divorcing, or still married men) and for him to have a job. I do not even care what kind of job. He doesn't really have to have a car even. I have dated and became close with me that need to work on some things and I get that. Point being I date all different men at different times in their life so I do not blame that. I just feel at a loss right now because I want a good man and a relationship but I just want them to wait, I do not know why things have to be rushed and pushed so far. I want to take things slower and if it works out then good.... ohhh well I told you I was gonna rant... UGHHHHHHHHHHHHH