Wednesday, October 6, 2010

He's Gone

We all know the drill
he gets locked up and she breaks loose
Life's lessons taught so real
she learned too many, she just called it truce
10 years she loved him strong
10 years her love he denied
She fought with fist and will alone
He struck her down far too many times
His support she longed to be
his perfection is what she aspired
To gaze and see her true beauty
is all she asked for him to provide
Other women he always kept
yet she laid  with him no less
Self doubt and hurt and it was set
the pain pierced deep inside her chest
Raising a child that's not her own
because of the love for him that she attained
A love so unconditional and strong
he never wanted it- that caused her pain
So much abuse and she sat still
waiting as the moments passed by
Her soul almost crushed- no time to heal
for a healing the pain was sure to deny
She always blamed herself for staying
and watches her kids as they grew steady
Loving them- for better days praying
but leaving was the only remedy-this she knew
But breaking free seemed so impossible
letting go was much too hard
The thought of what was ohh so sensible
cut like the glass of broken shards
She felt destroyed, unloved, not needed
fought a battle of non-sense in claim
Through it all she kept her dreams
and refused to bow in shame
So when he left alone she lay
in the bed where they made love
Thinking o the words he'd say
so little of them filled with love
She cried so long and felt so lost
unaware of what to do
He was her life the one she sought
somehow someway he was her glue
but she woke up day by day
and went about her every task
Back down in the bed she'd lay
as she did along so many times in the past
She pictured life when he's return
fantasized that it would all change
"Damn girl no lesson learned?"
spoke that voice that sounded so strange
"This is your life and you have so much to give
here you are expecting that what was never true
How many days of hurt and years of pain did you live?
are you seriously debating if he'd be good to you?
You gave it all you had and there isn't much left
It is time that you looked out for yourself"
She thought-but how selfish a request
to put him up upon a shelf
Her argument made her laugh
cause she gave him 10 years to love her back
Even if he does improve and show her love just as she asked
could she claim to release the past, not keeping track?
She got up from the bed and moved to the mirror
 she wiped her tears and pushed her hair aside
She spoke the words aloud and let them flow just like a river
"No more of the hurt consider how much he lied
you have to are for you or no one else will ever no how.
Its time to move on- do what you have to do
you can seek what happiness is to you now."
With that she didn't get any sleep
at all that entire night
Pillow soaked eyes with streaks
the morning came cold and bright
So she let him while he was gone
you pass judgement if you'd like
But inside she knows she's wrong
she knows next time she will do it right.............

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